Good evening everyone! I apologize it has been about a month since my last blog post. I have been so busy with life. Tonight I wanted to write about how to love someone with depression. Now I just want you to know, I am not telling you how to love someone. I am simply giving you ideas if you are struggling to understand what your spouse is going through. This could be different for everyone, but this is just from my experience.
Depression doesn’t only hurt the person going through it, it hurts everyone around them as well. I have seen this happen to my husband. He is the most positive guy on the planet, and he can always take me from 0 to 100. There are some days where I just can not get out of a slump. (it has gotten a lot better with my new medication) On those days, I can see the pain in my husbands eyes, hes sad, he feels defeated, and tries to think of ANYTHING that could make me happy.
At first I was so frustrated because he would ask me what was wrong. I would blow up on him and say I don’t know. Because truthfully I didn’t and that’s the worst part about it. Sometimes when you are depressed nothing has to be wrong. I would be happy all day then boom, sadness would hit me out of nowhere. That is just what happens. And it gets extremely frustrating that we can’t explain that to people who have never gone through it.
Personally, I think the best thing you can do for someone you love going through this is to say, Hey I love you, I’m right here if you need me, and then let us be alone. Just for a bit. That is what works best in my house. After talking to my therapist about it, that is the strategy we came up with. I sat my husband down one night and said that’s what I needed to have done. No more asking me what the matter was and it has truly worked.
Before I was blowing up on him because I couldn’t answer the question, “What is the matter?” Now there is absolutely no reason for me to get upset when he says I love you and I’m here for you. Trust me you are going to save some yelling and you will feel much calmer. Let me know if you guys have any other strategies 🙂 Until next blog!